Nothing is more annoying than a guy who takes shortcuts.” She cites the following example: “Say I spend an entire paragraph talking about how one of my loves is spending time with my sister and rolling around with her two boys. ’ I’m like, ‘Can’t you even be bothered to read the whole profile? If the other person’s profile says, ‘I’m looking for long-term,’ and all you’re after is hooking up, give it a pass.
’ Or, I’ll have stated that if you do any drugs at all—even pot—you and I will not be a match, yet I hear from guys who are clearly into partying.” Wendy’s cardinal rule for online dating is this: Don’t waste your own time and don’t waste other people’s time. Similarly, if you want something more serious, and all she’s into is random play, move on.” Next: Scaling it back [pagebreak] The problem for many younger guys when choosing appropriate potential partners, notes Wendy, are “the shiny factor” and “single focus self-involvement lenses.” The most frequent offenders, in her experience, are twenty-somethings just looking to hook up or find some instant gratification. “They see a tremendous rack in one of my pictures, and they’re mesmerized, and I get the IM or email.” (In fact, commenting on a woman’s physical attractiveness right off the bat can actually be a turn-off, according to Robinson, since it can be read as superficial.
By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.
If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.
By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.
GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.
Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?
What the hell are you supposed to say about yourself in your profile? [pagebreak] OUT-OF-TOWN AND OUT OF TOUCH The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after.” — Andrea, 31 The problem..the solution: If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town,” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women.
There’s obviously a reason she didn’t think it would work out, so why keep trying to pursue someone who is clearly not interested in you?
Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. [pagebreak] PRESSURE COOKERThe scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34 The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.
“If your handle is Scooby Doo, I don’t know what your name is, so when you’re introducing yourself, please tell me your name upfront. ‘I saw your profile and found such and such really charming, or I saw that you like to hike and I just came back from hiking the Appalachian Trail.’” Adds Robinson, “Referencing her profile shows that you read all the way to the end, and care enough to pay attention.” 3.
Tell me Wendy bemoans the socially awkward guys who feel the need to float their entire life story before her.
“What I would honestly tell you, flat out, is that just because don’t care,” says Wendy.